Every true Freemason will show tolerance and respect for the opinions of others and will behave with compassion and understanding to his fellows.
From earliest times Freemasons have been taught to help those in distress without detriment to their dependents, and to give their support to outside charities.
Freemasons strive for truth both in their view of themselves and in their dealings with others. Masonry requires high moral standards and its members endeavour to uphold these principles in their public and private lives.
The Freemasons Lodge Ionic Prudence holding under the United Grand Lodge of Queensland and numbering on its role 77 meets at the Kedron Freemasons Centre on Gympie Road Brisbane every 4th Thursday of the Month at 7:30 pm, and works the Scottish Ritual. The selected Badge of the Lodge Ionic Prudence is the McDuff tartan which is prominent on members aprons. The wonderful thing about Scottish Lodges is that we all have different ways in which we conduct our ceremonies and ritual, which make up the main body of work for any Lodge. Though Freemasonry is universal and the rituals throughout the world do have a common theme, being a member of a Scottish Lodge highlights these differences and emphasises the rich diversity which is Freemasonry.
We welcome any current Freemasons who would like to visit our lodge, especially those who are looking at seeing how the other half do it and we always welcome members of the public who are interested in Freemasonry but don't know how to go around joining the fraternity. There is also information about the history of our lodge, Freemasonry in general, the Lodge officers and even some Masonic Jokes to give you a chuckle.
If you have any questions regarding Freemasonry in general or this the Lodge Ionic Prudence specifically, please visit the contacts at the bottom of the page for our contact phone numbers, or submit an email via our contact form.
I will remember that a strong character leads to trust and trust is the foundation of Leadership. I will lead with a strong Masonic character.
On the 30th October, 1893 Thirteen Brethren held a meeting in the Freemason Hall, Alice St Brisbane. At this meeting it was decided to form a Lodge and on the 13th November, where by direction of the Acting District Grand Master, the Consecration Ceremony was performed. It was followed by the Installation ceremony where the Lodge decided on the name Valley Ionic. At a meeting held on January 5, 1894 our foundation brethren selected the Tartan of the McDuff Clan as the badge of our Lodge. If we examine the McDuff Tartan, there are five colours all of which are in squares. This famous tartan has been stained with the blood of many heroes, fighting for the freedom of FREE MEN. The name ‘Valley ionic” was changed to “Ionic” in June, 1896; this alteration was made due to the meeting place being changed from the Valley to a large room in the Old Colonial Mutual Building in Queen St Brisbane.
The original Charter was 802 S.C. When the Grand Lodge of Queensland was formed, brought about by the amalgamation of the English and Scottish constitutions, the Lodge worked under the number 54. When unity was affected throughout the state by the amalgamation of the Grand Lodge of Queensland and the Queensland Grand Lodge, a new charter, no. 77, superseded the previous No.54. In 1926, Ionic was very strong, and a daughter Lodge was formed and consecrated. The Lodge was named “Progress” and it has made much progress in the following years. A happy relationship exists between the two Lodges. In 1957, membership of Ionic Lodge had again grown to such an extent that a second Daughter Lodge was formed within the Lodge. It was consecrated “prudence Lodge” in August 1957.
A meeting was first called in 2002 to consider the consolidation of Ionic Lodge No 77 and Prudence Lodge No 462. After some discussions it was agreed that the Trustees of both of these Lodges be instrumental in sorting out the details. The members of Ionic Lodge voted to move from Ann St and accept the meeting nights and Installation timing of Prudence Lodge at the Kedron Masonic Centre. In consultation with the United Grand Lodge of Qld it was decided to call for a consolidation of these Lodges in order to keep the traditional Scottish workings and to preserve the Lodge number, being 77, in its continuity. The consolidation of both Lodges was formed in July 2003 when Prudence Lodge had surrendered their Charter to the U.G.L.Q. and the Prudence members joined Ionic Lodge.
An application was then made upon the Grand Master at the time M.W. Bro. Allan Wright to approve the Lodge names of Ionic and Prudence to be combined. In February 2004 approval was given to change the name to Ionic Prudence Lodge No 77. Thus preserving the Lodge Charter number and incorporating the names of both Lodges. In August 2003 the first Worshipful Master of the combined Lodges was Wor. Bro. Arthur Bang.
Today our lodge has around 40 members with the oldest being just shy of 100 and the youngest being 26. Thirty of these members are still very active in Lodge life, with our oldest active member Very Worshipful Stan Rutherford being 95. Each year we have been steadily growing, with most of our new members being around 34 years old. This spells a great future for the lodge as we are passing the batton to a new and active generation of Free and Accepted Masons.
Contrary to popular belief, members of Ionic Prudence or for that matter Freemasons in general do not ride a goat in their lodges. Apart from the logistical nightmare of providing parking and feed for 40 or 50 goats at our meetings, not to mention the cleanup afterwards, it is in fact a joke, perpetrated often by Masons themselves on nervous initiates. It has also been a charge laid against Freemasons by their detractors in an attempt to villify our society, as the goat was often seen as symbolic of the devil.
Old catalogs from fraternal supply companies in the late 1800s actually offered mechanical goats for use in other fraternal organizations and "fun" degrees. As the golden age of fraternalism resulted in literally hundreds of other groups popping up in competition with the Masons, some were obviously less serious than others. Such items only served to perpetuate the myth that Masons and other fraternities required a goat-ride ritual for their initiations. Rest assured: There is no lodge goat. The degrees of Masonry are serious business to Freemasons, and there is no horseplay (or goatplay).
I’m a 33rd degree mason, which is one degree above freezing.
Wor Bro Doug Ramsay has had a long and distinguished career in Freemasonry, which is obvious when you see the ease at which he tackles any and all of the ritual work. Doug officially knows everything.
Bro Michael Churchward is our practical joker and usually requires a thump with a walking stick to settle down, but he does love his Masonry and affiliated with Lodge Celtic of Ithica.
Bro Tim Hawes affiliated with us when his Lodge handed back their charter. Tim has a great sense of humour and has jumped in a the deep end taking office immediately. He is a Canadian by birth but we dont hold that against him ehh!
Bro Michael Rooney is one of those young masons who throw themselves into the fraternity 100% and if your every looking for someone to visit with then Michaels your man. Rides a monster bike and loves leather.
Bro Art Murrie is our lodge chippie and can often be found helping the temple caretaker doing those things only a tradesman can do; ask him to show you a picture of his girlfriend. Always has a new hair do.
Brother John Hackeny is a late bloomer and joined our lodge soon after his 73 birthday. Though he has problems getting around at times due to a dodgy knee, he stepped up and took an office at the first opportunity.
Do you want to be one of use? Why not...Ionic Prudence is a great Lodge. We have members aged from 25 through to 99, all of who are very active in the lodge.
There are many theories concerning the origins of Freemasonry. Some scholars claim to have traced the lineage of the Fraternity as far back as the original builders of the Egyptian pyramids, while others believe that Freemasonry was a development of the Knights Templar formed after their demise at the hands of King Phillip IV of France in 1307.
While there may or may not be some truth to these assertions, there does not seem to be any cast-iron historical evidence to support such theories. What we do know with reasonable certainty is as follows.
During the Middle Ages, many European monarchs embarked on ambitious building programs, resulting in the beautiful Gothic churches and cathedrals which still stand today. Many of these larger structures took decades to build and employed thousands of stonemasons. In those days, most common people lived under a feudal system whereby their work and their very lives were the property of their lord. The craft of Masonry, on the other hand, was so specialized and valuable that Masons enjoyed the rare privilege of being 'free' - in other words, they could travel, live and ply their trade wherever they wished. This is the origin of the term 'Freemason'.
Masons were highly paid workers so it became essential to distinguish genuine Masons from those who would attempt to obtain work without being qualified. Local communities of Freemasons therefore organized themselves into 'Lodges' consisting of a Master (the chief architect), his two Wardens (who helped him run the bureaucracy of the Lodge) and a body of skilled workers. Those workers consisted of apprentices who were learning the art of masonry and 'fellows of the craft' who were fully-qualified Masons performing the actual construction work. The Lodges developed certain means of recognition consisting of secret passwords and signs. In this way a Freemason could ply his trade wherever he wished and the local Lodge could be sure that they were only hiring genuine Freemasons.
As these vast building programs wound down, work became more scarce for Freemasons, but the local Lodges survived since they had developed into central hubs for social activity and fraternity. In time, these Lodges began to admit 'Speculative' Masons - men who were not Masons by trade, but who wished to share in the Brotherhood and knowledge of the organization with like-minded men whom they might otherwise never meet due to religious, political or economic restrictions. Eventually the Speculative Masons grew to outnumber the Operative Masons, and the customs and rituals of Masonry were adapted to serve the purpose of building spiritual buildings instead of physical edifices. Freemasonry was thus born - an organization that takes good men and makes them better by applying a system of moral education founded in the symbolism and allegories of operative stonemasons.
In England in 1717 four Lodges decided to create a formal organisation by forming the first Grand Lodge. Freemasonry then spread across Europe and to other countries with amazing speed. The first Freemason to step upon the shores of Botany Bay was Joseph Banks the botanist who accompanied Captain Cook on his voyage of discovery. Yet it wasn't until 1820 that the first warranted lodge met, the Australian Social No 260 IC, though there had been earlier meetings though not under Warrant. The distinction of being the first Grand Lodge in Australia is held by the Grand Lodge of South Australia, which was formed in 1884. Masonry in Queensland started in the year 1859 with the establishment of Northern Australian Lodge No 1098 UGLE, with the Grand Lodge of Queensland being formed in 1904. READ MORE
Freemasonry has many aspects and facets and to a large extent Masonry is whatever you put into it. At its very simplest, it is a fraternity of Brothers who meet to forge and share a common bond. This social aspect of Freemasonry is practised through our regular Lodge meetings (called 'Communications') and other events such as casual social BBQ and charity work.
The difference is that Freemasonry has other higher purposes in addition to simple socializing. Freemasonry is a moral and ethical system of education which aims to take good men and make them better. Most men who become interested in Freemasonry do so because they sense that there ought to be more to life than simply earning a wage and pursuing material gain. They feel that modern life lacks a certain spiritual satisfaction and wish to improve themselves and the world around them. Freemasonry is one of the few remaining institutions that can help one achieve that goal, based on time-honoured principles which have been handed down from one generation of Freemasons to the next.
Freemasonry is also perhaps the most misunderstood, yet popular, "secret society" the world has ever known, as well as being the most visible. Every state in Australia just as in almost every country of the world has a Grand Lodge of Freemasons, with each having its own Web site freely accessible to the public via the internet. Freemasons themselves proudly wear rings and jackets with the square and compass clearly displayed. Their cars often have Masonic bumper stickers identifying them e.g. 2B1ASK1. Masonic buildings are clearly marked usually with a large blue square and compass on displayed to the public and their addresses and phone numbers are in the Yellow Pages. If the Freemasons are a secret, they need a refresher course on camouflage, because we make no attempt to hide who we are. Almost immediately after forming the first Grand Lodge in England in 1717, books trumpeting the secrets of the fraternity began to arrive on shelves of local book sellers.
Masonry does have ceremonies it wants to keep private, not secret but private; along with certain methods of identification such as passwords and handshakes. But these are no more insidious than a salute or challenge/reply used in the scouts or military; they represent a simple manner by which we can determine an affiliation with the order.
No simple, one-line definition satisfactorily describes what Freemasonry represents and even amongst Freemasons you will often have disagreements as to how to adequately define the fraternity. It is certainly described in our ritual as a philosophy, based on a system of morality and ethics; which is veiled in allegory and illustrated by symbols, but this simple description does not adequately define for the layman what he can expect from an affiliation with the order. To simplify matters here are some of the main points that make Freemasonry different from other organization:
Masonry is certainly not for everybody. But those who know in their hearts that there is a better life to be lived, and are prepared to work to achieve it, will find Freemasonry to be an incredibly rich and rewarding experience.
As the master smacks his gavel firmly on the wooden block,
the deacon seemed a loss for words the ritual all forgot,
the wardens both their gavels stilled as neither dare to knock
and the masters past, in the east they sit as if in utter shock.
Apprentice Masons stand amazed, their eyes they cast aside
and fellow craft to their mentors look an answer to provide,
masons full all steeped in craft look quickly in their guide,
for on a goat the inner guard he firmly sits astride.
Brother Inner Guard, an answer please why do you sit that goat,
Tis not an allegory I've heard or any mason wrote,
I've checked the rules and historic text no reason not a mote,
for the Inner Guard to mounted be, for this I see no quote.
I fear that I've been led astray and made a shocking hash,
but the internet was oh so clear as to how I was to act,
my choice to mount upon a goat is a Wikipedia fact,
to show I've learnt my ritual well with style I have no lack.
I thank you brother your study is I'm sure of scholarly bent,
but did you read the ritual notes of which the secretary sent,
no animals will to lodge be brought, even with the masters assent
and never goats Brother Inner Guard the rules they do prevent.
So take your goat and move him hence before my gavel drops,
let him graze without the Lodge, upon the grass to crop
and be not timid to question me if you need additional props,
for goats and masonic ritual are most certainly not apropos.
Pat & Bill had been Lodge Brothers for many years. They had promised each other that the first to go to the Grand Lodge above would return to tell the other whether there really were Lodges in Heaven and what they were like. By and by, it came to pass that Bill went first.
One day shortly after, Pat was working in his garden when he heard a whispered voice, " Pssst Pat!" He looked around but saw nothing.
A few moments later he heard, now quite clearly " Pat! Its me, Bill!"
"Bill" Pat exclaimed, " are you in Heaven?"
"Indeed I am" said Bill.
Pat paused for a while to get over the shock and then said "Well, Bill, are there Lodges up there in Heaven?"
"There certainly are, Pat. There are Lodges all over and they are quite magnificent, equal or better to Great Ann Street. The meetings are well attended, the ritual is word perfect, the festive board fantastic and the spirit of Masonic Fellowship is all pervasive."
"My goodness, Bill," said Pat, "It certainly sounds very impressive but for all that you seem rather sad. Tell me old friend, what is the matter."
"Well, Pat, you are right. I have some good news and some bad."
"OK, so what's the good news?"
"The good news is that we are doing a 3rd this coming Wednesday"
"Great" said Pat. "What′s the bad news then?"
"You′re the Senior Deacon!
There′s a man, walking down the street at 1 in the morning and he′s very drunk.
A policeman stops him and asks: Where are you going in that condition?
Man: II′mm on mmyy waayyy to a lectttuurre on FFreemmassonnrrry.
Officer: Where can you possibly get a lecture on Freemasonry at this time of night?
Man: Frromm mmyy wifffe, wwhenn I gget homme!
A small Lodge had had a string of bad luck. It was preparing to initiate a candidate on a steamy evening in June and it′s air conditioner had stopped working. After sweating their way through part of the work, the Master had asked the candidate what he most desired.
The candidate replied "a beer".
At this juncture the WM., being startled, whispered "light" to the candidate.
"OK," the candidate replied, "a lite beer."
A new initiate returns home to his wife who is naturally curious to know what went on. The conversation goes something like this:
She - Well how′d it go?
He - Very well - most interestin
She - What did go on?
He - I′m not really sure if I can tell you about it.
She - Well is there anything you *can* tell me?
He - Well it seems there are 3 classes of men in the Lodge -walkers, talkers and Holy men.
She - What do they do - if you can tell me?
He - The walkers walked me around the lodge. The Talkers talked to me and to the walkers as I was led around ....
She - And the Holy men? What of them?
He - They seem to be a special class of men - all in dark blue and gold aprons and gauntlets. They just sit on the benches around the lodge with their heads in their hands chanting repeatedly - "Oh My God Oh My God !"
Some few years back, just after the introduction of Random Breath Testing, the Police officers of a small country township had to show the community that the RBT was working. They decided to stake out the local Masonic Hall, then as the night wore on, eventually a mason slowly came down the stairs and got into his car.
The moment he started the engine the two officers approached him and asked him to "blow into the bag". He did of course but to the amazement of the officers proved negative. Fearing a faulty bag tried again, with the same results. Sure of a possible conviction they then escorted him to the Police station to do a blood test, with it also proving negative.
Being upset with this they then asked him what had gone on and what he had done that evening, to which he answered, "The Grand Master was there, the Grand Secretary was there, the Grand Stewards were there and we all had a great time, as to my job I was the Grand Decoy".
A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. Just before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had any last words. "Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" "Why do you hate Masons?" asked the hangman. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Mason, the Judge who presided at the trial was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons!" "Is that all?" asked the hangman, " "Yes" replied the convicted murder. "Then you will advance one step with your left foot."
Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them and the ground. Being without instruments, after half an hour they realized that they were well and truly lost.
A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. They had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a member of the Craft.
The chaps in the balloon inquired of him as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a balloon." Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again.
One turned to the other and said, "I bet he′s the Secretary of his Lodge!"
"Why do you say that?", the other asked.
"Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present predicament is totally useless!"
The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish.
"OK," said the WM, "I′ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii."
"I can′t do that!!!" exclaimed the Genie. "Don′t you know that′s impossible? No Genie could do that. It′s too far, the water is too deep, it′s just totally beyond anybody′s power. You will have to make another wish."
"OK," said the Master. "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers ... just sit on the sidelines and behave!"
"Hmmmmm," said the Genie. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4??"
Three Master Masons met and were talking over conditions at their Lodges.
The first Master said, "You know, since summer started, I've been having trouble with mice in my Lodge. I've tried everything - noise, cat's spray - nothing seems to scare them away.
The second Master said, "Yeah, my Lodge too. There are hundreds of them living in the Lodge basement. I've set traps and even called in an expert exterminator. Nothing has worked so far."
The third Master said, "I've had the same problem. So I initiated all mine and made them members of the Lodge. Haven't seen one of them since."
There is a lodge located in the far outback of Queensland where the brethren though faithful Masons, lack knowledge in receiving visiting brothers properly because of their remotness.
During one of their regular meetings, the Junior Deacon informed the Worshipful Master that there was an alarm at the door, whereupon the Worshipful Master replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings".
The Junior Deacon opened the door and saw, to his amazement, a brother, impeccably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest.
The visitor stated, "My name is John Smith, Past Master of my lodge, Past District Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Sovereign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor who humbly requests an audience with the Worshipful Master."
The Junior Deacon, upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closed the door, returned to his post and informed the Worshipful Master: "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door!!!"
One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion, this is what he did.
When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 brethren had turned up, etc.
However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was unfit to drive home.
The next day in the post she received 64 letters.
Prime Minister Julia Gillard is visiting a Glasgow hospital during a trip to England. Shee enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness, he greets one.
The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."
The Prime Minister is confused, so she just grins and moves on to the next patient. The next patient responds:
"Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."
Even more confused, and her grin now rictus-like, the Julia Gillard moves onto the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle"
Now seriously troubled, Julia turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'
'No,' replies the doctor, 'this is the serious Burns unit.' .
(Not a masonic joke) I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'
One day an English mason, a Scottish mason, and an Irish mason were in the bar after the meeting.
They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, a fly landed in each of their pints and became stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer from him in disgust.
The Irishman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Scotsman picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and yelled
"SPIT IT OUT!! SPIT IT OUT!!!!"
Just before we were to tyle before our last stated meeting a very elderly man came into the Temple. I went over to introduce myself as Master of the Lodge.
The gentleman asked if he might be able to receive his Fellow Craft Degree. He said he had been regularly initiated here 60 years ago.
Astonished I asked why it had taken him so long to return.
He replied, "I was learning to subdue my passions and now I am ready to improve myself in Masonry."
In the Lodges toilet, an Entered Apprentice, a Fellow Craft and a Master Mason were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The Entered Apprentice finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Queensland and they taught us to be clean."
The Fellow Craft finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the Queensland University of Technology and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The Master Mason zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "Im graduated from Mitchelton State High School and they taught us not to piss on our hands.
An 80-year-old Past Master of his Lodge becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model. He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date.
The doctor looks him over and says, "Arnold, you seem completely healthy but I must tell you one thing."
"What's that, Doc?" asks the Past Master.
"At your age, sex can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take care it could be really deadly," the doctor replies.
Arnold thinks for a minute and then says, "Oh, what the hell - If she dies, she dies."
One afternoon, the Junior Warden calls the Worshipful Master and says "my wife told me that we are having dinner with my in laws tomorrow night, so I can't come to the lodge."
"But we are doing a 1 degree tomorrow night," the boss replies. "I can't give you the night off."
"Thanks Worshipful Master" says Harry. "I knew I could count on you!"
John has been a mason for many years and finally has worked up the courage to run for the job of Worshipful Master. Unfortunately in the ballot he did not get enough votes and returned home that night quite despondent.
His wife me him at the door with a great big hug and a welcome home kiss. "Don't worry" she said "in this house you will always be the Senior Warden."
The Worshipful Master is talking to one of the visiting brethren who just happens to be a doctor and complains that the Senior Warden doesn't seem to hear what the Master was saying during the Lodge rituals. The visitor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem.
"Next time you have a ritual address yourself to the Senior Warden from your chair, and then slowly advance from the East and see how far away you are when he first responds."
The Master excited to finally be working on a solution to the Senior Wardens problem, sets up a simple ritual for the next meeting. On the night and once every is seated, he starts the test.
"Brother Jones" the Master asks from his chair in the east "What is the role of the Senior Warden?" After receiving no response he advances toward the West and tried it again halfway across the Lodge, and again no response. He advances to the edge of the mosaic, again with no response from the Senior Warden. Finally standing directly in front of the Senior Warden he says "What is the duty of the Senior Warden".
He replies "For the fourth time, to ensue tat the Worshipful Master puts fresh batteries into his hearing aid before the next meeting."
You might be a Mason if:
1. You're at a wedding, and when the minister says "Amen," you blurt out "So Mote it Be."
2. You find yourself trying to check out the rings on stranger's fingers.
3. You actually "got" the lines in the movie, The Man Who Would Be King, and can quote the movie like it was the Bible.
4. You feel compelled to attend the funeral of a complete stranger, just because you read in his obituary that he was a Mason.
5. Your best friends are an 92 year old WWII veteran of the Kokoda Trail of , a 19 year old University student, a non-practicing Orthodox Jew, a doctor, a boilermaker, an Iranian Kurd, and some guy named Rodger and you all spend at least one night a month together talking about working tools.
6. You referred to a cold XXXX as a 'means of refreshment'
7. You have an affinity for sitting in ancient chairs with busted springs stabbing you in the butt for hours at a time.
8. You have an irrational fear of goats.
I have a very large group of friends, which I keep scattered in Masonic Lodges around the world
A group of Masons are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."br>
The Grand Master is presenting a 70 year jewel to the oldest member of the Lodge and asks as he pins the jewel on his chest, "And what do you think is the best thing about getting your 70 year jewel?". He simply replied, "No peer pressure."br> br>
One day the Worshipful Past Master and the newest Entered Apprentice go golfing. The EA is really good and Worshipful Master is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way and the Worshipful Master says, "When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree."
So, the Entered Apprentice hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not to far from where it started.
"Of course," added the Worshipful Master, "when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall."br>
A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind".
After the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge"
The first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? To which the brother answered "pass".
Undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland?
As in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass".
Continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland?
And for a third time the answer was "pass".
At this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"!br> br>
A brother went for a job interview, knowing that the interviewer was a Mason. He explained that he was absolutely the best qualifed for the job and secretly hoped that his Lodge connections would get him the position.
The interviewer said that his qualifications were excellent but wanted to know what he expected by way of salary.
'I would like $200,000 and 6 weeks holidays?' said the brother.
"Halve it and you begin!' said the interviewer.
If you've read this far and are now interested in Masonic membership for yourself, simply drop Ionic Prudence an email, contact a Lodge in your local area or call the Grand Lodge for your State or Region. We are always happy to sit down and have a cuppa and tell you all about Freemasonry.
For many men, Freemasonry fulfills a part of themselves that they intrinsically felt was missing. Whether it be the social, the philosophical, the spiritual, the historical or simply a sense of community with others; you will find within Freemasonry that part of you which you seek.